Monday, November 12, 2012

Upheld


So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10
The journey has not been easy, and it is not yet over, but God has brought me far.

It was hard to go from being someone who was always on her way somewhere – by car or by plane, rarely stopping-- to being someone who got up in the morning for perhaps a half-hour, then returned to bed, hoping that would make it easier to breathe. 
During the most difficult times, we fought fear.  There was no reason to go to the hospital – what could they do?  I was unable to take the drug which would kill the mold in my lungs; it had been stopped by the doctors due to its effect on my heart. Oxygen didn’t help. The only peace we had was knowing I was completely in God’s hands—upheld in His righteous right hand to be exact.

My husband Jack – incredibly skilled in construction ministry and used to being able to fix anything—had to battle helplessness.   He sat on the edge of the bed and held my hand, he read healing scriptures to me; he prayed me through the most difficult breathing times.  He’d wake up multiple times each night to be sure I was still breathing.
And I was, only because God was holding me in His hand.

God provided a place for us to live near the construction ministry project He has given Jack to do, so we left Atlanta and are now closer to my physician.  My doctor agreed we were fighting this on physical and spiritual levels. What better way for satan to stop me from shining light on one of his favorite industries –sex trafficking of children -- than to make it difficult to breathe.

He hasn’t won.  God gives me the strength to continue increasing awareness of sexual exploitation; in fact, He has given me another opportunity to serve Him—speaking about pornography as the gateway to exploitation and how it’s all over His Church.
Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world.
               

Friday, April 27, 2012

Completely In His Hands

In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind. Job 12:10

It began with breathing difficulties. Many doctor visits and tests later, a single question….”do you have any mold in your house”…prompted a thorough search. Massive amounts of black mold, floor to ceiling in some places, were found in the basement of the mission house, the same place as the HVAC system. Some of the worst areas were directly under the room I used as my office.

My breathing worsened.  A culture confirmed that the mold had colonized in my lungs and a 16 week treatment of a strong antifungal medication began. Within two weeks, my breathing was clear but the medication was taking its toll. In another few days I would end up in the ER with the “dangerous, seek medical attention” side effects. Despite the ER doctor’s caution, I continued the medication believing it was my only hope at recovery from an infection with a poor prognosis.

I made it only 3 ½ weeks before my doctor stopped the drug that was affecting my heart. When I asked her if God could have used such a brief time to kill the infection, without hesitation she responded, “absolutely, He can heal you without any medication.”

And so began the journey.

A church gave us a place to stay while Jack did most of the mold remediation and replaced ductwork in the mission house. A company donated the chemicals necessary for cleanup. Another company donated the fogging of the entire house to ensure any remaining mold was killed. God provides!

We are now awaiting the results of an air test to determine if it is safe to return to the mission house we left in early December. It has been over two months since the medication was stopped. It seems odd to say that I am dependent on God for every breath since technically we all are, but without the medication I am completely in His hands.

Is there any better place to be?